Coordinating with Your Children’s School About Your Divorce

At some point, divorce and school can become an issue if not handled right. For example, perhaps you and your ex or soon-to-be ex start relying on your children to tell you about field trips or other school activities. This can be problematic because it may put your kids in the middle of any conflict you have. Or, if you’re the parent who always worked with the school, now your ex is left out and doesn’t know about the school’s schedule.

The website Since My Divorce offers some helpful tips for situations that can arise and how to deal with them.

The Timing for Telling Teachers about Divorce

It can be upsetting for children to learn that teachers knew about the divorce before they did. It’s wise to tell your children about divorce before telling their teachers and other people. Also, if you wait a few weeks after letting your children know, you can tell teachers how they’re dealing with the news.

If you wait until a child is having trouble with schoolwork or having behavioral problems at school, you’ve waited too long. In many cases, teachers can work with you to help prevent that from occurring.

What Types of Communication Are Appropriate for Divorce and School?

You’ll need to decide which teachers need to know, including sports coaches and other teachers handling extracurricular activities.

Focus on the facts. If you’re going to be moving, the school should know when and where  (your new location). If third parties will help take care of the child — pick them up after school or for after-school activities — make sure the school knows.

When it comes to divorce and school issues, you want to avoid communicating anything but the facts. A teacher is not the right person to hear you vent your upsets about your ex or soon-to-be ex.

Besides, from a legal standpoint you don’t want to create situations that could be used against you in dealing with custody or support issues.

Work Closely with Your Attorney

Let your attorney know about issues you’re having with divorce and school issues or other problems so you can put the proper legal measures in place for child custody and support. An experienced divorce lawyer can be invaluable when it comes to working out divorce details.